Sharing is Caring
Aloha,
I am very exctited to announce -- we are having an Awakening the Third Eye Weekend Workshop on Maui! Click the link above for all the information. Margarita Holsten and I will be teaching the workshop together.
For today, I would like to share an insight that has been unfolding for a while and I just got some clarity on it this morning.
What do we learn in preschool?
Sharing is Caring -- Right?
This is what my 5 year old step daughter says frequently (when she is wanting something from her older sister of course:) - She learned this life lesson in preschool... it seems like a good thing to learn, teaches kids how to get along with people and navigate the world - right?
I'm not so sure.. what are so many of us quite terrible at?
Boundaries
Yep, with our parents, co-workers, partners - you name it... so many of us have a hard time maintaining our boundaries. This stems from all kinds of things trauma, wanting to be liked/loved, and little life lessons like 'sharing is caring' .. (I think)
What if we were told, you can play with your toy as long as you want and share when you are ready. We might walk away with a sense of I am ok, rather than "I should go against my own truth and wantings"
This lesson of - I am ok, what I want is ok, what I feel is ok, is far far undervalued.
I was recently having a discussion with my partner and it was clear to me that his emotions were his, I didn't have to take them on, I am not responsible for them or changing them.. I am here to love him and if he wants - help him, but his emotions are his. I chose not to 'share' his emotions - This is very tricky and sticky navigation with those close to us - I love you, I am here for you - and your emotions are yours.
I postulate -
Sharing is not caring
Sharing can sometimes be jumping on a sinking ship - while we think we are saying 'I Love YOU' - 'I am here for you' - what we are really doing is giving over our power, our truth.
My hope is that we can start modeling instead of 'sharing is caring' - how about... I stand in my truth. Whether the person is 2, 10, or 70 years old standing in front of us - celebrating their truth with them. If they are angry - allowing their truth. If they are joyous, allowing.
This is the highest gift we can give to each other - Allowing and honoring the person's choices and experience that are in front of us.
I allow and honor myself and you
Not quite as catchy has -- sharing is caring. I'm working on it.
My prescription for you - Notice when you are not allowing you to be you this week.
With Love,
Vanessa